Louie, 42 and Becky, 35, became a couple when they were young. They have six children. Becky got pregnant with her first child when she was 15.
For the better part of their relationship, Louie had a wandering eye. He was a repeat offender. His wife had caught him so many times.
The worst happened when he came home from a motel, his breath reeked of alcohol, and his body smelled of cheap soap. Becky felt it was enough.
She straddled him on the bed with her chef’s knife raised like a scene from a horror movie. Louie woke up to Becky’s scary low “exorcist-type” rumble exploding to: “Saan ka nanggaling?”
One could make an excuse that getting married so young greatly affected his transgressions.
But it also can be said that he is just “being a man,” as society tends to put men in a box — labeled cheaters until proven otherwise.
Based on surveys, who cheats more?
Infidelity, or being unfaithful in a relationship, is a complex issue that has been the subject of much research and discussion in recent years.
While some studies suggest men may be more likely to engage in infidelity, the reality is that both men and women can cheat and that the reasons for infidelity are diverse and complex.
A study published in the journal JAMA Network Open in 2019 found that 22.7 percent of men surveyed had engaged in infidelity, while the rate among women was 19.3 percent.
The findings suggest that for both men and women, sexual personality characteristics were more likely to predict if they would cheat. It also suggested that for women, relationship factors were more of a factor to determine if they would cheat than demographic variables such as marital status and religiosity.
Why cheat?
It is important to note that the rates of infidelity can vary depending on many factors, including the definition of infidelity, the population, and the methods used to collect data.
For example, a study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies 2018 found that men were more likely to cheat than women, with an estimated rate of 20 percent compared to 13 percent in women.
However, this study defined infidelity as more of sexual behavior, which may not capture the full range of actions or thinking that some individuals consider cheating.
In addition to gender, many personal, relationship, and cultural factors can influence the likelihood of infidelity.
For example, a study by the Ateneo De Manila for the Philippine Journal of Psychology in 2014, “Gender, Adult Attachment Styles, and the Tendency to Commit Dating Infidelity: A Mixed Methods Study”, showed that those with strained relationships with their primary caregivers, or have low levels of relationship satisfaction are more likely to cheat.
Other factors, such as alcohol use and impulsivity have also been linked to infidelity.
Are women cheaters, too?
The gender gap in infidelity may be narrowing in recent years. In 2016, a paper, Infidelity in Romantic Relationships by Frank Fincham and Ross Way found that the rate of infidelity among women has increased.
While the exact reasons for this increase are not clear, some researchers have suggested that changes in gender roles and social attitudes towards infidelity may be contributing factors.
No scientific evidence supports the notion that men are naturally more likely to cheat than women.
Both men and women are equally capable of engaging in infidelity, and the reasons for infidelity are complex and diverse. While some studies have suggested that men may be more likely to cheat, it is essential to remember that the rates of infidelity can vary depending on several factors.
Hope springs eternal
Louie and Becky now laugh about what happened on that fateful night when she confronted him about his cheating. Even with a few more scrapes and some crazy moments along the way, they’re still together and happily married.
But not all incidents of infidelity end in good humor or a happy ending. In reality, cheating can irreparably destroy relationships, whether a man or woman does it. One must discern moments of weakness and, from them, build character.
There are indeed a few good men out there. Hopefully, you’re one of them.
