FORMER actor and Quezon City congressman Victor Vargas tweeted today about his 12-year old daughter Alexandra.

It would appear the day that most fathers dread has come for the good congressman. His daughter has just received a box of chocolates from a secret admirer on Valentine’s Day. 

And he is petrified. “First time mangyari ito. This is every father’s dread. Lord, tulungan ninyo po ako,” he posted. 

Dumating na ang araw na kinatatakutan ko 😭

For Valentine’s Day, my 12-year old daughter, Alexandra, received chocolates from an anonymous person in class.

First time mangyari ito. This is every father’s dread 😭

Lord, tulungan niyo po ako 🙏🏽😅 pic.twitter.com/c4VMWrLcpH

— Alfred Vargas (@AlfredVargasPH) February 14, 2023

Maybe he is exaggerating, but maybe not.

A lot of married millennials like Vargas have teenage children and can relate to the feelings of Vargas.

Their babies are now starting to enter into relationships. Whether they like it or not.

But a father and a relationship has a special bond.

Millennial men are more in touch with their feelings and are open to process it.

It’s actually a good start, acknowledging your fears. Studies have shown that a strong father-daughter relationship could be the key to raising strong, confident and successful girls. 

So here’s republicasia’s guide for millennial fathers like Vargas. 

According to a study, 

Build an open relationship

Former actor and business executive, Hans Montenegro has a very close relationship with his daughter. 

“Yes it has worked for me (building an open relationship) but girls being girls, no father should ever assume that because you are so “close” with your daughter, you know everything about them. They will always have secrets,” Montenegro said.

“It helps to check yourself that as a man, you most likely have your own skeletons. So don’t be a hypocrite. The key is to have an open enough relationship that you are one of the first people she calls when she needs help or gets in a bind,” he added.

At an early age, speak to your daughter like an adult. Find time to have small exchanges with her about anything. Being the primary authority figure in the family is a given as a father but it will help foster a bond with her if you also open your doors to chats and little conversations about anything. 

That way when the big ticket issues come her way, she won’t hesitate to confide in her biggest supporter and confidant. The best barometer is when she can freely confess her deepest darkest secrets to you without hesitation. 

Allow her to make mistakes within certain limits

The worst that could happen is probably if she gets pregnant at a very early age or she gets involved with the wrong crowd and experiments with drugs. If that happens, perhaps something was overlooked and unseen while she was growing up. 

To prevent it from actually reaching that point, set the limits without becoming overbearing.

She will make mistakes along the way like most of us do.  But if you can make her feel she could without being judged and punished, she’ll make an effort to learn from it out of love instead of fear.

Be a shining example

No one is perfect. We all make mistakes. But what truly sets us apart is our ability to accept our mistakes and be better. Your effort to improve yourself and your relationship with your family is the best example one can do for your daughter. 

A study published in the journal Developmental Psychology found that children of parents who experienced relationship conflict were more likely to develop negative attitudes towards marriage and relationships, and were less likely to believe in the value of commitment and fidelity.

Accept the bad with the good

If the going gets tough for her and she falls deep into her troubles then you’ll have to stay strong to see her through. If she makes life altering mistakes, then all the more you should be someone she can rely on until she can get back up on her own feet. 

If she projects independence, you’re good

It’s a bit scary to let someone go. You’ve seen this person literally grow up before your eyes. 

But her independence of spirit is a good indication of where she is in her mental and emotional growth. 

At least you won’t have to worry about her clinging on to some guy because of her “daddy issues”. 

Sting once said “If you love somebody, set them free.” 

This applies to your daughter as well.