How’s the heart doing, bestie?
If you have just ended a relationship or a “romantic” friendship, the pain of dealing with a break-up is excruciating especially when you’re the one who was left.
The emotional and psychological blows of having to deal with ending relationships is different to every person, but one thing is for sure, moving on takes time, sometimes, forever.
This is because break-ups bring various emotions like grief, guilt, anger, sadness and even oddly sometimes, relief.
But even though break-ups are hard, people tend to get better at handling it through time. Eventually, after they get past the pain, a new self comes to life.
Here are some ways to cope with a break-up
- Cry and shout if you need to
In most break-ups, almost always, the one who is left gets into a state of shock and anger. So telling the person to move on and forget the person and the relationship won’t exactly resonate since he/she is still in pain.
Instead of repressing those emotions, talk about it with your family and friends especially those with similar experiences. Drain your heart by expressing your pain, anguish, anger and frustrations. Studies have shown that sharing our emotions with someone we trust has a profound healing effect. Psychologist James Pennebaker said in 1997 that writing about our emotional experiences improves our mental and physical health. This is because of the theory that holding painful emotions can be stressful and could even increase the risk of illness.
However, if your break-up remains to be the topic of your conversations, it might do you more harm than good since what you do is constantly remind yourself of your pain instead of releasing it.
Make sure you have a good support system.
- Keep a busy social calendar
After feeling your pain and secluding yourself from the world, you deserve to get yourself together, get out and have the best life.
Enough of the wallowing in self pity. Glam up for those party nights, get drunk, go for that roadtrip, book that flight and fill your social calendar with fun and exciting getaways.
A change of scenery will not only speed up your moving on process, it will also refresh you big time.
- Stop the stalking
Moving on does not mean you have completely forgotten your ex. While you are on the road to getting over it, admit it, you still love the person so there’s always that impulse to check on him/her from time to time.
Whether it’s the subtle asking of friends or visiting the socials, hey – it’s stalking.
Stalking is one sure way of preventing you from moving on because it makes you hang onto memories. It also gives birth to never ending comparisons, especially if your ex is already seeing someone else.
So do yourself a favor. Don’t purposely give yourself reasons to feel down and hey, be done giving your ex the pride of still being your apple of the eye.
- Forgive yourself and your ex
Yes, you saw it right, you need to forgive your ex, and yourself too.
Whether it’s you who’s at fault or you’re the one who’s left, you have to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is an important step in overcoming a breakup. Remember, relationships are a two-way thing and they usually ends for reasons that are not just because of one person.
According to the Handbook of the Psychology of Self-forgiveness, self-forgiveness is crucial to one’s overall well-being because we tend to get shattered after a painful break-up.
- Live your best life
After everything, you have to get out there and live your best life. Seeking the best version of yourself is the best revenge. Seek out that perfect health, dream body, dream skin, dream job, dream home and dream travel. Shower yourself with the love you seek and give people all the love you have. Being genuinely happy is key to being the best and most beautiful you, effortlessly.
When people see your happiness, you become magnetic to everyone, even those who left you. In fact, most mind and manifestation coaches would say that letting it all go and truly being happy and grateful makes you attractive to everyone and everything good.
